How to get a treat

It’s a good thing we don’t live in Buckingham Palace or the White House, because having five cats to keep track of would be a nightmare for mom.

Take today for instance …

Today was the day the smoke and fire alarm would be tested in the condo building where we live.  Sure enough, around 2:00 p.m. there was a knock on the door and the superintendent announced that someone would be coming to the unit in a few minutes.

The knock on the door was enough to have Mickey, Charlotte and Gabriel running for cover.  Not Charlie, he’s relaxed about anything and everything and not me, (Chanel), because I happen to be under Dieter’s bed already.

I don’t know how the smoke and fire alarm was tested, but everything seemed to be in order and shortly afterward the front door closed.  That was when mom started her headcount.

She found Mickey, Gabriel, Charlie and me, but where was Charlotte?

She looked in all the usual places: under her bed, behind the cabinet, behind the love seat, but apparently she found nothing because I heard her stomping around the place.  She had another look under the bed, checked the linen closet, even opened some kitchen cabinet doors (heaven knows why she did that), but still Charlotte was not to be found.

So she switched to plan B.  “Charlotte, where are you?” she called.  “Charlotte!  Charlotte!” … no answer.

Okay then, over to plan C.  Mom got the treats out of the kitchen cabinet and rattled with the packet.  It’s a plan that never fails.  Within seconds Charlotte had materialized, along with the rest of the pack.  Yes, me included.  We just can’t resist a few treats.

So all was well that ended well.  The smoke and fire alarm worked and thanks to Charlotte we all got a few treats.  Is she a clever kitty or what?

Can cats tell time?

The other day I saw a sticker that said, “Dogs come when called, cats take a message”.  

Yes, cats are smart, but just exactly how smart are they?  Very smart, let me assure you.

Mom and Dieter set an alarm clock every night, to wake them up in the morning, but this is completely unnecessary.  After years of watching the comings and goings in this house, I know that Dieter has to get up at 6:00 a.m. and he really doesn’t need an alarm to wake him.  He’s got me.

Every morning, around the time that he has to start his day, I start singing to him.  Sometimes that's enough to wake him, sometimes my voice brings little or no reaction.  He grunts, but he doesn’t move and keeps his eyes tight shut.  Of course, I don’t give up.

If singing to him doesn’t help, I switch to plan B ... trampling all over him.  I walk up his legs, across his back, even over his head.  The result ... more grunting and on occasion irritated “Cha-nel!”  No movement though, so now it time for the heavy artillery.

I position myself next to his head, stick me cold wet nose in his ear and go “Krrr, krrr, krrr.”  That does it.  He rises and mumbling makes his way to the bathroom.  Mission accomplished.

Speaking of which, years ago I had a brother called Floppy who had a wake-up call technique of his own.  He would position himself on top of mom and start with “Krrr, krrr, krrr”.  If she ignored him he would ever so softly touch her nose with one of his front paws.  If that didn’t work he would lick her nose.  If that still didn’t have the required result he would, as a last resort, lean over and bite her nose.  That would bring on an irritated “Aaaauw!”.  The bad news ... her nose would be sore; the good news ... she would be awake.

Floppy performed this ritual every day, but on the sixth day the result was quite different.  Mom would get upset and tell Floppy to leave her alone, that it was weekend and that she wanted to sleep in.  Well, all she had to do was say so.

From then on, every Friday night, mom would say to Floppy “Flop, don’t wake me tomorrow hu.  Tomorrow is Saturday and the day after it’s Sunday and I don’t have to get up.”  Floppy understood and slept in too.

So if you’re ever wondering if we cats can tell time or understand you ... you bet we can, we’re smarter than you think.